It has now been one year that I have served as the 2nd Counselor in the Relief Society Presidency. First off, can I say how fast that year has completely flown right on bye? Well, I will never forget that initial moment that I felt when I was asked to serve in this calling. Of all people, it had to be by my father-in-law and our bishop, Rod Taylor. He told me early that Tuesday afternoon that he would like to meet Jeremy and I in his bishop's office that evening. Both Jeremy and I kicked around who was going to get a new calling. I tried to convince Jeremy that it was his turn, yet he tended to remind me that I have been the one complaining that I am burned out and felt as if I needed something more. In retrospect, I had been teaching primary for the past 8 years, and it's not that I didn't love my calling, it was just the same thing to me every Sunday. So, I guess I did ask for the new calling and I knew that they were in the process of reorganizing the Relief Society, but I no more thought I would be put in that position in a million years.
So the time came that Jeremy and I went to the bishop's office to hear the news. Yes, it was my turn. When Bishop said that he would like to see if I would accept the calling to serve as Second Counselor in the Relief Society, I honestly broke down in tears and cried. I knew I was not ready for such a huge responsibility and change in my life. I felt inadequate and like I knew nothing about the Relief Society program or the sisters in our ward. I asked to whom I would be serving with, and when he told me whom I had been called to serve with, I felt intimated and scared to death. It was a very emotional moment and it wasn't until he said that Loreen Sorensen (the new RS President) had prayed about it and came up with my name in the beginning and then wanted to kick it around for a while because she didn't think it was fair to me and my young family to hold such a calling, but after a lot of prayer, she knew that I would be the one and serving in Relief Society is where I needed to be. A million thoughts ran through my mind of why I couldn't do this . . . I am too young, I need to be in Primary with my kids, I don't know the gospel as well as everyone else, I am just me with little to offer, why me? But with a humble heart and yes, still in tears, I accepted this new challenge.
So the first week into August 2012, I was set apart as the Second Counselor in the Gunnison 5th Ward Relief Society. I am so lucky to be serving with Loreen Sorensen as President, Ann Marie Broderick as First Counselor, and Jane Dunning as Secretary. Even though I don't exactly remember the words that were said in my setting apart blessing that day, I do know that my Heavenly Father blessed me to be in a calling that I would have never pictured myself in.
For the past twelve months, I have had to teach four lessons and take my turn to conduct on assigned months. I have completely had to come out of my shell, granted I know I have a lot of room to grow. I am not a public speaker and I am not one to get up and ramble off on a topic, especially gospel related, in front of others that I feel know a lot more and could a much better job standing up in front of everyone than what I do.
Just a couple of weeks ago, I was feeling like this calling is not for me, there are so many other woman out there that would be doing so much better of a job that what I am doing that I should just ask to be released. It was more than what I thought I could handle, then in one of our Relief Society lessons, the teacher said the following, "The Lord does not call the qualified, he qualifies those he calls." I know that this is what Heavenly Father knew I needed to hear. I am not qualified for this calling by any means, but if I am called to do something, it is to my benefit to learn and grow so I do become qualified.
I totally get all stressed on the months that I have to take my turn to talk. Fortunately, it is every three months that the presidency has to teach, so at least I have time off to relax. It was this month, September, that I was responsible for teaching. One thing as a presidency, we have to come up with a topic, whereas the rest of the weeks in the month, those teachers have an assigned topic to study and prepare a talk on. I have learned that with a lot of prayer and asking for direction from our Heavenly Father, he will lead and answer prayers.
This months topic that I knew I needed to teach was on Developing Talents. I had a cute handout prepared that said "Your talent is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God." Isn't it amazing how the Lord works? I prayed, studied, and learned so much while preparing this lesson. Yes, I did have to once again break out of my shell to give this lesson, but I do feel like I grew so much. So many times you hear in lessons that the teacher giving the lesson always says, I know this lesson was more for me than anything you will gain from it, well this is how I felt today. In preparing, I was able to get my patriarchal blessing out where it states that if I continue to develop my talents, then I will be blessed with more. Therefore, it is up to me to continue developing and seeking out new talents. I view this lesson as a great challenge in finding ways to become better and improving those things that will build the kingdom of God.
I do know that I have around two more years left in the calling. There are many days I view it as eight more lessons! I figure eight because I have to give four per year! So in a way, I do count down lessons, mainly because they are not my favorite thing to do in the world, but at the same time, I have really enjoyed sitting in Relief Society learning and growing in the gospel. I have grown to love Loreen Sorensen, she is so gifted to teach the gospel and has such a giving heart of those she is around. I have especially grown to love Ann Marie, she and I have partnered up to go and do monthly visits together to those sisters in our ward that have birthdays. She is has been such a great example to me as she is so knowledgeable in the gospel, she is extremely talented, and has such a connection with the sisters in our ward. It has been fun to get to know Jane too, she has such a great whit about her, in a way that she can always make you smile. She has a great testimony and I have appreciated getting to know her.
So for now, I know I have a lot still to learn and grow. Being only 36 and with this type of church calling, I feel like there is a lot of pressure and I know there is a purpose and a reason for me to be where I am today. I may never know why I am here, I do know that I need to take full advantage of this learning process, even as scary as it may seem!
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